The time has finally come, there is no one here now and I’m alone. I shouldn’t be surprised, for loneliness is the story of my life. 

I have the rope ready and my stool, now I will put on this tight sweatshirt to secure my arms, just in case I change my mind. But, I know I won’t, I just have to end this suffering, I hope to God I have the courage to see it through.

I have my letter in hand which should explain it all to them. I know they will be better off without me and I, I will be free once and for all from this miserable life, this heavy burden. I don’t think I will be missed, no one ever calls or comes by anymore.

Now, I need to place the letter where they can find it. In it, I have made them aware of my final wishes. What little bit of money I have has been designated. The few material things have been allocated to the right ones, I don’t even know if they will have them.

Now for my final prayer to the one I will entrust my soul to. I pray He can forgive me.

Dear God, I come to you today in utter hopelessness again, as I have so many times before. Lord, you know how miserable and lonely I am. You know that I do not want to be a burden to you or to my family any longer. I feel like I’m just in the way. I know I have been angry that no one has reached out to me, I thought I had made it clear how bad I needed help, just a simple conversation would do. But, everyone is too busy with their life and I feel like such an interference in their plans. God, I just can’t live with myself any longer. Please forgive me for my hopelessness and lack of faith. I do love you, and I do love my family… Help them to understand this letter. Please help them not to be mad at me… Amen

Well, that’s over and there’s just one final thing. I will just place the letter here by the phone in our bedroom. Now, that’s done and I need to head down to the basement and finish my task. God give me strength.

Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

Who could that be? I don’t recognize the number. Should I answer? 

Well, I’ll just make this quick, it could be about the kids...

Hello… Yes, I remember you. I’m sorry, it’s not a good time, I was right in the middle of something… 

You are only a couple of blocks away?

Well… Well, I guess you could come over for a few minutes since you have driven so far.


I’ll put some coffee on…

Written by Loyd C Taylor

Author's note: My wife and I received a call that her cousin had taken her life. She was troubled by many things and I suppose had reached a point where she grew tired of trying any more. Let us hope we can reach out an be there for the next hopeless person.

I'll Put Some Coffee On
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