I finally reached the point where I had had enough!

I was angry; 
God was no longer speaking to me as he had in times past. 
I had prayed so often and felt as though heaven was deaf.
I needed to hear from the one who had all the answers; 
The wise one who for some reason seemed to be ignoring me. 

I was disappointed, frustrated and confused. 
I thought, "Surely, God cares, doesn’t he?"
So, I decided to take a walk, 
cool off a bit and ponder my situation at last.

As I walked along, I saw a maple tree swaying, 
I could hear the wind whistling through its branches.
Soon I found myself at the edge of the ocean 
Watching the tide come in and out. 

I paused and listened to the sound of the waves whooshing, slapping upon the beaches.

Turning to leave, I felt warm sunrays beaming down upon my face. 

I spotted several small children playing in the sand, 
I heard them laughing as I walked by.

Heading towards the park, my eyes became fixed on 
The beautiful, colorful flowers. 

My ears caught the unmistakable sound, the buzzing of 
Busy little honey bees, as they darted from petal to petal, 
Flying all around.

My eyes caught a cloud as it moved above my head.
Looking up, I noticed in a branch of an oak tree 
From which came the cheerful chirping of a nest 
Full of hungry little birds, longing to be fed.

In a less than pleasant state of mind, 
I sprawled out under that tree on a soft mat
Of luscious spring grass.

Closing my eyes, I felt my heart beating.
Lying still, I could hear it in rhythm thumping.

On my return home, I decided to pray again.
"God, I have asked you to break the silence,
To let me that you care for me still. 
I need to know that you understand 
What I’m going through. 
But, it seems not within your will.

Today, yes today, I have heard many things 
Of your creation, their voices and sounds. 
But why do you, the Creator not speak? 
I don't understand. Yes, I do believe, but please God, 
Help me for my faith is oh so weak!"

Then, out of my state of frustration 
It was as if God said to me, "You silly child, 
When you heard the wind in the trees, 
The whispering of the waves, the children laughing, 
I was speaking.

When you heard the bees buzzing and little birds chirping, 
It was I. Even when you heard your heart beating, 
I was speaking.

I speak often and in so many ways, 
Through so many things, on so many days.
It wasn’t that I was not there, or that I did not care, 
But it was you who choose not to hear."

I contemplated this message for a moment. 
It humbled me, it shook me, and it broke me.

I cried out, "O Father how could I have been so foolish, 
So deaf. Please forgive me, for it was I and not you."

I felt a warm breeze gently touch my face. 
I didn't hear a single sound, but it was enough. 
I knew God loved me, I knew that he cared, that 
He understood and he had heard my prayer.

Written by Loyd Taylor, February 17, 2010

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